One year older and pushing the limits.

Today, I'm one year older. It seems the older you get in your 30's, the less excited you are about the day to come as you know you are inching towards the 40's. As a child all you want to do is be older, look older. But, the funny part is you have 18 years to be young, then so many more as an adult. I hear my kids say all the time, "when I'm older I am going to...." But as parents all we want is to keep them young and around as some day they will be gone....and older.

So, what is my plan for this next year of life? As you know I am a planner and goal oriented person. Of course, it's always to be better, faster, stronger. Read more, slow down and enjoy the view. Appreciate life. I want all of those things sure. But, as I am older I realize I need to also face my fears and attack those insecurities I have. It seems the older I get the more my little fears have become increasing fears. Children pick up on this and well, I need to be their strong momma, right? We recently moved to the beautiful state of Utah. What do we have here--tons and tons of mountains. I never grew up in the mountains. I am terrified of heights. Driving up a steep mountain produces extreme anxiety for me and I am white knuckle gripping everything around me. I don't know how to ski and the thought of a chair lift which exposes you directly to heights terrifies me to no end. But, I am going to face it and get over it. Because there is no need to hide behind life and not go for it. PUSH YOURSELF! I enjoy nature. Really I do. I enjoy all activities outside and admiring the beauty. I can be rugged if you want me to be. But, understanding how to set up a tent, build fires, create meals on the fly with sticks is not my forte. I don't like bugs or worrying about bears. I prefer to be clean. But, I'm camping. Full on doing it every weekend, because my husband enjoys it and my kids love it. I've recently showered in a freezing cold creek in the middle of nowhere just to feel clean. Pooped outside in nature. And buried it. Treated a sick kid on top of a mountain, 10,000 feet up, with no ability to leave due to weather, time of day, and rugged conditions. Played chess on top of a mountain. Scratched my arms up from firewood. Paddleboarded around a lake, on top of a mountain. Went running in the middle of a mountain to see a snake and cows and panoramic views of incredible mountains. Froze at night in my sleeping bag. Allowed my husband to take all of us to the top of a mountain to camp with terrain of exposed rocks, holes, and steep roads going up and down, switchback rocking us to the point of nausea. I've pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and allowed some of this craziness to well, just happen. Because that is where and when living gets interesting. So, that is how I plan on growing this next year to continue to push my limits and fears to experience more and have more stories to tell!! Because anything is possible, you just have to want it!. Cheers to another year and adventures!

~Amanda