Reaching out and (gasp!) calling on the telephone!

I've had some time to myself over the past two weeks. Kids are at school, husband is at work, leaving just me. It sounds truly wonderful doesn't it? It IS truly wonderful, but I am missing one thing. Friendships. Being new to Utah and not at work yet, I am home all day long. I have dreamed of this working since my teenage years and all through college. But, I don't have a collection of mom friends just yet, which I know will come. So, I decided to do something else. Reach out and call my friends on the telephone. What a concept, I know!

I am probably the worst girlfriend out there. Since my twins were born, life got, well busy. I will call them later, I would tell myself, but it seems over the years later just never came. I've been busy with work, vacations, moving, school stuff, sports, you name it, I've had the excuse for it. My friendships have suffered because of this and well after a while, the phone calls just... stopped. I can blame myself for being such a bad friend. Not taking any trips other than when home visiting to see family. A girls week or weekend, nah, I don't need it. But, I think as a mother and military wife we do need it. We just deny it out of what, guilt? Guys can seem to have a guy night or weekend or trip without hesitation. What locks us down to the house being a mom? I'm not sure. Is it responsibility, our nurturing selves, or have we just changed? Whatever the reason it is absolutely NO reason for not taking the time to say hi and check in with friends. I've had some really good girlfriends over the years. Ones that stood up in my wedding, were at my side with whatever of a family or other kind of disaster came my way. I've had a lot of great memories. But, I stopped calling. And it makes me sad. So, I decided, it's time. Time to just pick up the phone. I called some of my friends and it was really nice to catch up. It seems some parts of the call were like we just left off where things last were. The initial, hello, hi this is Amanda was a bit unnerving. One of the first questions I received from one of my friends was, "Is everything okay?" suggesting there was something wrong in my life versus it just me being me wanting to connect and be a friend. I could sense some of tension on the line at times and I apologized for my lack of friendship. I know friendships work two ways, but it seemed my way was the one that was severed. I can blame myself. I could have settled for an email or maybe even a text with a "hey" before the call but why? A phone call goes such a long way and it's nice to hear a voice and not read something. It seems calling is losing its way these days as we enter into more of the digital world around us. I am always going to vote for the call because it's so much more personal, especially when you live so far away. Don't forget to call, because it can mean so much to someone else or maybe just yourself in knowing you are still connected. You are still friends. And isn't that what life is about, being connected?

~Til next time, Amanda